Childhood misery
by ponyrellabellasara
Summary: A dark shadow haunts Snape as he remembers his past. A horrible tragically starts the sad life of the half blood prince.
1. a bad start

**I don't own Harry Potter or any familiar characters used.**

Snape looked at the pensieve in horror. Harry's head was invading his memories. The very memories he wasn't suppose to see. He didn't waste a second, he grabbed the robes and pulled.

"So…having fun are you," Snape growled.

Harry was too shocked to speak. Snape was shaking him madly with rage.

"Amusing man, your father, and your godfather too. Saints aren't they!?" Snape retorted sarcastically.

"Sir I… didn't!" Harry pleaded.

"Didn't what!? Didn't know your father was an arrogant git! _HE _was the reason you're an orphan! He was the reason you're mother died you know!" Snape accused.

"SHUT UP! IT WAS YOUR FAULT! YOU DON'T HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOSE A MUM!"

That was it, Snape lost it. He pushed Harry onto the floor, making his glasses fall off.

"DON'T HAVE AN IDEA! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT'S LIKE! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE! FYI POTTER, I'VE LOST MORE THEN YOU HAVE!"

Snape picked Harry up and threw him against the wall.

"MY LIFE ISN'T A BIG POOL OF BUTTER BEER, UNLIKE YOURS! YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN!"

Snape grabbed Harry by the hair, and pulled him towards the door, stomping on the round glasses on the floor.

"NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE, GET OUT OF MY DAMN SIGHT!" Snape bellowed.

And with one final push he spilled Harry out onto the floor once more.

'Just like his father! Just like him!' That was all Snape could think. He paced around his office, occasionally knocking over something causing it to break. He didn't stop for at least five minutes, and when he did he sat in his chair, his face in his palms. He never told anyone, he couldn't. He remembered the days of his childhood. He was just eleven.

"_Severus! Come on wake up! Today we're going to Diagon Ally! Vamos __levantarse__!"_

_Severus' usual wakeup call from his half sister, Maria. She was only a few months older than him, and she never let him forget it. He slowly got up and slipped on a robe. He ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. There stood his mother, tall, thin, with black hair. She was busy cooking eggs and bacon._

"_Now children, quiet your father is sleeping, he still has that hang over from last night."_

_She turned around. The black eye was clear. This wasn't surprising to them. She had one nearly every week. _

"_If you eat fast we might be able to leave before he wakes," she informed them, but was interrupted._

"_And where will you be going." Tobias stood on the open door way. His greasy brown hair hung over his brown eyes._

"_I'm just taking them to Diagon Ally so they can get there supplies for school."_

"_Are you just saying that so you can see another man, you slut!"_

_Eileen didn't say anything. She just ignored him, and resumed cooking._

"_What is this, huh?" Tobias sneered._

"_Just eggs and bacon for the kids," she replied._

_Tobias shoved her away from the stove into the counter._

"_For the damn kids, huh? Well none for me. The man you owe everything too."_

"_I didn't expect you to be awake for awhile."_

_Tobias suddenly grabbed her._

"_You used your magic on me!" He accused._

"_No. Children, please go get dressed and meet me down at the car."_

_Maria and Severus ran up stairs away from Tobias. Maria looked like she was going to cry again._

"_Why is he so mean?" Maria inquired._

_Severus shrugged._

"_Try not to think about it. Let's get dressed."_

_Snape slipped on a black t shirt and a pair of black slacks. Then a tan over coat it looked like it was going to rain. Maria didn't take long; she was wearing her miss match striped knee high socks, with striped shirt and black sun dress. She was so beautiful in his opinion._

"_Race you to la __caro__!" Maria exclaimed happily._

"_You're on."_

_Severus and Maria ran out the door and into the car._

"_Ha, si I won. Girls__ rule!" Maria bragged._

_Eileen __came out tears in her sapphire eyes._

"_Are you two ready."_

_They nodded and buckled their seatbelts. As their mother started the car, Maria smiled at her mom and sympathetically said…_

"_Don't worry mom…we still love you."_

_Eileen smiled at them, and then drove._

_Diagon Ally was everything Severus had imagined, stores filled with witchcraft and wizardry as far as his eyes can see. Maria seemed to be hypnotized by the sight._

"_Okay children, let's get you're robes first."_

"_Oh Severus isn't it exciting. We're finally going this year."_

_Severus nodded; he was holding pins in his mouth for the plump witch attending to him after entering the robe shop._

"_I can't wait to get there, and to be sorted."_

_The door opened, and in walked a young girl, same age as them, she had red hair, and green eyes._

"_Ola Lilly, coma estas__tu__?"_

_She seemed surprised to see them._

"_Oh. Hello Maria. Hello Severus."_

_His cheeks went red, as Lilly stood on the stool._

"_Lilly we're going to get our wands next, do you want to join us."_

"_Sure Maria, if Severus doesn't mind."_

"_No not at all."_

_They all left the store in thirty minutes. They headed to the Olivander's right away. Snape's wand was 10 inches long made of ebony, the core made of unicorn hair. Lilly's was made of willow and the core was made of Pegasus hair. Maria's was made of oak and the core was made of dragon heartstring. They all went to the rest of the stores together picking up books and other supplies. Eileen really didn't want to return home and for their sake she wished they were already on the way to Hogwarts, but even fun times must end, all the shops were closing and they had everything, So they had no choice but to return home._

_Anote: new story will continue._


	2. To hogwarts

Snape awoke abruptly, he had fallen asleep in his office, and his first class started in an hour. He quickly changed his robes, and headed out to the dungeons where potions took place. He got out the ingredients for the assignment. Then opened the door for the class, who all took their seats.

"You will be making invisibility potions today. The instructions are the boar and on page 457 in your text book."

The class started, Snape looked at Harry. Remembering his arrogant father, and the day they first met.

…

They got home and there waiting in the door way was Tobias.

"So, you're back. No one took you in."

No one answered, no one got to, because in a flash of a second Maria was snatched by the arm by Tobias. Before Severus or Eileen could do more than gasp. Tobias struck Maria's arm and a loud crack echoed in the night. Maria fell to her knees in pain tears in her eyes. Severus ran to her side, and Eileen did too.

"Maria oh my baby. Severus. Get your sister in the car we're leaving, and pack up all of your items."

Snape got all Maria's clothes and his and packed them into the magic suitcase. He wiped a tear from his eye. Maria was hurt, by his own father. He got in the car, and waited for his mother. Eileen had her wand pointed at Tobias's face waiting for her son. Once Severus shut the car door, Eileen hurried in and drove off to the nearest hospital. The Doctor was very nice to Maria. He told her jokes as he took x-rays of her arm. Severus watched his sister get her cast on. They left the Hospital within an hour. Eileen and her kid's Slept in the car that night in the parking lot of kings cross. Snape saw that Maria wasn't falling asleep. He opened up the magical music box he got on his first birthday, it started to play the lullaby as there mother sung to them. Maria fell to sleep and Severus fallowed. The next morning Eileen took the kids into the Bathroom to get dressed. She hurried them into platform 9 and 3 quarters. They said goodbye to their mother and Hopped on the train. Maria looked at her brother and smiled sadly.

"Cheer up, Severus. We're finally going."

Severus smiled back at her.

"How is your arm?"

"Better now."

Lilly entered the compartment. She saw Maria's arm immediately.

"What happened to your arm?"

"Oh its nothing don't worry about it." Maria lied sadly. "What house do you hope to be in?"

"Oh I don't know."

"Well you better be in Slytherin." Snape said.

"Who would want to be in Slytherin?" A group of boy's entered, one had messy jet black hair and hazel eyes and glasses, and one taller one had long black hair longer then Severus's, another boy had brown hair and scars on his face, the last boy was short boy chubby with mousy hair.

"I'm James Potter; this is Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and this Peter Pettigrew." Said the boy with hazel eyes. Who took Lilly's hand and kissed it.

"And you would be?" ask Sirius grabbing Maria's non-broken hand and placing a gentle kiss on it.

"I'm Maria." She replied blushing.

"What house are hoping to be in?" ask Severus sourly.

"Gryffindor! The house of the brave and the bold!" Bounded James swing an imaginary sword. Snape made a sound that sounded like a mix of a scoff and a snicker. "And what was that remark suppose to mean?" James retorted.

"Oh nothing, if you rather be brawny than brainy." Severus sneered.

"It doesn't matter what house you go in Lilly I'll still be your friend." Maria said companionably. Lilly smiled.

"My family has been in Slytheren for years." Sirius said with a sad smile.

"What I didn't know that, I thought you were all right." James said

"Well what's wrong with that. Maybe you'll be the first out." Said Maria. Sirius gave her a smile. Not listening to what was going on Maria kept on staring into his eyes. It wasn't until Lilly said.

"Come on Sev, Maria. Let's find another place to sit."

"See ya latter Snivilus." James called.

…

"You should be done by now, put your potion in a vile and label it clearly, then leave it here on my desk to be graded."

Snape watch Harry bring his potion up to the front of the class. They look at each other, with the upmost loathing. Harry turned and marched out of his office.

Later that night Snape sat in his office, looking at a pitcher of him, Lilly, and his sister.

"Lilly, Maria my sweet sister, I wish you were here by my side. I miss you dearly."

He held the pitcher close to his chest, as if they were still alive and well. He started to remember the way Maria judged people by getting to know them first, and he honored that about her. Soon his eyes got heavy and sleep rushed over him.

"Severus…"

A faintly familiar voice called from the hall. Snape looked up and saw there was a bright light coming from the hall.

"Severus…"

The voice called again. Snape stood up and slowly moved towards the hall.

"Hello? ... Who's there?"

"Severus…"

He opened the door, but instead of the hall he found… a garden, filled with purple snap dragons, red roses, blue tulips, and many others.

"Severus… Over here!"

It was a girl's voice; he traced it to the center of the garden, where a girl with black hair, a dark purple witch gown sat on a picnic blanket.

"Come sit down silly."

The girl said with a giggle. He sat down besides the girl.

"Maria?"

"Who else would I be?"

Maria handed Snape a sandwich.

"Its ham and cheese your favorite."

Snape took a bite.

"So what's been troubling you?"

Maria asked.

"It's Potter's son. He so arrogant and I caught him peeking into my memories."

"Well he is James's son, so what did you expect?"

"He think he knows everything about me, he thinks he's the only one who lost a family."

"He doesn't know you lost a family. You never told him."

Snape looked at his sister.

"How did you know…"

"I've been looking after you Sev. You have made a few wrong choices lately."

"Well what should I do?"

"First you should tell Harry the truth about your past, then try to be nicer to him."

Snape thought Maria was asking for the world, but didn't argue. He nodded to her, as she stood up.

"Adios, Sev."

"Wait!"

Maria turned.

"Will I see you again and is this real?"

"Yes and only if believe it is."

Then she turned and walked into a thick forest. Snape jumped up and ran after her.

"Wait! Maria! Don't go I have so much to say so much to ask."

He feel to his knees, as a tear feel from his eye. He wanted to stay with her, but his eyes opened and he was back in his office.

Anote: Sorry I haven't written in a while I'll upload more chapters as soon as I can.


	3. A big mistake

Saturdays were very peaceful day for Snape. These days he could spend most of the day to himself, and he would not have to put up with insufferable students especially from Gryffindor. This Saturday was not as enjoyable from the others. Even though he was alone his mind dwelled on Maria's dream visit was ringing in his ear like a mad bee.

"Be nice to Potter."

Snape scoffed, even if he wanted to be nicer, he couldn't bear to tell Harry about the terrible past he lived. There was a knock on his door.

"Who is it?"

"Severus. Open the door."

McGonagall sounded worried, but He answered without argument.

"I haven't seen you all day. You are usually in the teachers' lounge. Are you alright?"

Snape rolled his eyes as he sat down on his bed.

"I perfectly fine Minevera."

She sat next to him.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to keep an eye on you while he is gone."

"He did, did he?"

Minevera saw Snape was holding something back. She could tell by the way he was rubbing his temples.

"Severus, is there something you would like to tell me?"

He looked at her wishing she had to rush off somewhere.

"Well yes…"

Snape took a deep breath and let out a sigh, and a tear fell from his eye.

"Last night my sister came to me in my dream, and I just miss her."

Snape fell into the pillow as tears fell silently from his black eyes. McGonagall was shocked at this.

"Severus what's wrong, maybe I should take you to Madam Pomfrey, and get you a antidepressant potion."

"It won't work Minevera, I take one every single day once in the morning and once at night. It doesn't help me at all. I always wake up and fall to sleep with tears. Most nights I don't even get a second of sleep."

McGonagall lade a hand on Snape's shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes… Can you take over my classes for awhile? I need to sleep, desperately."

She nodded.

"Anything else you would like me to do?"

"Just tell Mr. Potter that I will need to speak with him sometime soon."

"Sure thing."

McGonagall stood up and made her way to the door, she knew Snape needed help, he usually called Harry, Potter, she never heard him call him Mr.

"Minevera, can you not tell anyone why I am incapable of teaching please. Oh, and Harry's Glasses are still in my office desk I accidently broke them."

Minevera left as Snape turned over and hid his face in his pillow and silent let all his sorrows out into his pillow.

"Why did you have to go Maria? Why!? What am I suppose to do!?"

Snape tears never seemed to end; it was almost nine hours before he got up to take a sleeping potion, which was right next to a picture of Maria holding her baby girl 'Jessica' who had long black hair and baby blue eyes. Snape grabbed the picture and the sleeping potion, and fell into his bed he took a sip of the potion and placed it on his bedside table, he looked at the picture. Jessica let out an adorable little giggle, but not even her cuteness could make him smile now. He wished he knew where she had run off too. She was a student, a Slytherin, the one Slytherin who actually cared about him. His snakes liked him but never really cared, but he had betrayed Jessica's trust. As sleep fell over him, the terrible memories of that fateful night crept up on him.

(Memory)

"What could she be so reluctant to tell me?"

He was pacing his office like a mad man. Jessica didn't show up for potions for the past twelve days and every time he tried to confront her about it she would slip away. This was the final straw, he had to find out. Jessica slept in a room Snape made for her comfort so he could keep an eye on her and she wouldn't have to endure the snide remarks the other Slytherin girls constantly taunted her with.

He proceeded into her room. It was quit hard for Snape to find where she was sleeping, not only because Jessica could find anyplace in her room to fall to sleep, but like him Jessica loved black. Her carpet was black, her walls were black her bed spread was also black. If it wasn't for a magical window letting in moon light Snape wouldn't been able to find Jessica at all.

He could have lit the room with his wand but he didn't dare wake her up, especially tonight. It was a full moon, and Jessica was a special breed of werewolf, another reason she had her own special room at Hogwarts. Instead of changing every full moon, Jessica changed with her anger. She had mastered how to control it, but Snape never would risk it. He was standing over her. She was curled up and sleeping peacefully. Snape pointed his wand at her.

"Lagintamense."

Snape saw flashes of Jessica memories, but one caught his eye. Jessica was walking along the hall way. She looked a little worried. A tall Slytherin boy with red hair and green eye, in his seventh year had grabbed her by the arm.

"Hey Skellington what are you doing out so late?"

Skellington was her last name, even though her real father was Sirius Black.

"Nothing Jack Napper I was just heading back to my room."

Snape didn't like the way he smiled.

"Last time I checked this wasn't the way to the common room. Looks like you're in trouble."

"Severus told me I'm supposed to sleep in the room he provided for me."

Jack started to pull Jessica back down the hall.

"So you are on first name basics now. I am going to have to punish you."

"For what?"

"For trying to seduce a teacher."

Jessica was trying hard to pull her arm away but she couldn't escape.

"Severus is my uncle Napper!"

Snape fallowed them down the hall. He thought they we going to his office, but he soon found out that they were heading to the forbidden forest.

"Where are we going Jack?!"

"I was suppose to meet my friends. You'll be a big surprise for them."

It took a short while for them to get to a opening in the woods where a group of seven year Slytherins stood waiting , what happened next was to horrible for Snape to witness. They started to push Jessica to one another. Jessica yelled for them to stop, but they laughed, till one Slytherin tripped her.

"Okay boys. Who's ready for some real fun?"

The gang laughed as Jack fell to his knees and climbed over Jessica and started to unbutton her blouse. Snape gaped at the sight of this. Jessica's screams painfully filled his ears, as the memory went foggy, what happened next Snape never found out. He was stumbling backwards into Jessica's dresser, before Snape could gain balance; he was grabbed by the arm and thrown onto the floor.

"_**How dare you! Tu, tu **__**traidor**__**! I trusted you! You said you would never invade my privacy! How could you do this to me I thought you were different**_!"

Jessica's eye's had lost the sparkly blue, and was replaced by glowing murderess red

."Jessica please I was worried about…"

Snape was then thrown agents the wall then was soon forced onto the floor, by a very powerful slap.

"Oh yes lets all worry about little Jessie she obviously can't take care of herself! She needs someone to watch over her! Newsflash Snivilus!"

She never called him that name before.

"I don't _need_ protection; I don't _need_ help to fight my _own_ battles,_** AND I DON'T NEED YOU**_!"

"Jessica please I only wanted to help…"

Another painful slap meets Snape, but this one was a scratch. This made Snape grab his cheek in pain, he looked up at Jessica in shock and to find her eye were still glowing in the dark room.

"Painful isn't, it's a special nail potion I made. Remember when Luscious kidnapped me. Well while I was escaping, I fell into his poison pit, all the scorpions, snakes and spiders bit me, luckily for me I woke up in the hospital and I found out that I had a special ability. I had a venoms bite. So I mixed some nail polish with my venom and made a new undetectable weapon."

Jessica suddenly grabbed Snape by the front of his robes he was forced to look into Jessica's red hellish eyes.

"And the boys who you saw they never bother me again! I left them a message they would not soon forget."

She showed Snape her nails the tips we're red. She grabbed him by the back of night making sure she got a good chuck of hair.

"Now Snivilus, _**Get out of my life, and stay out**_."

Snape was forced out of the room as the door slammed behind him. He got up and listened into the door. Soft sobs were all that could be heard. A huge pit of guilt filled his chest, and his heart broke. It wasn't her memory that made him feel this awful pain; it was the fact that he had hurt her more by betraying her trust. If he hadn't barged into her memories, she would of eventually came to him for comfort but the chances of that happening again was next to impossible now.

(End of memory)

Snape eyes shot open with tears once again in his eyes. He looked at the clock and saw it had only been thirty minutes, he let out a grown of deep frustration, as he rubbed the back of his head. He felt his greasy hair between his fingers; he desperately needed to wash it soon.

"How could I have been that foolish? Do I deserve to feel this way? Of course you do Sev."

Snape took a large sip of the sleeping potion, and placed it back at his bed side. He laid his head on his pillow trying to think of more pleasant things, it was quite hard to find one that had a terrible memory to it and once Snape found one he had a splitting head ach.


End file.
